Blog of Billy

Bear cubs are no laughing matter. You would be wise this evening to check the various places in your home where bear cubs could be. If that includes your cabinetry, all the better for being thorough. Remember that it takes but one plaintive cry to bring the full force of 10,000 generations of motherly instinct bearing claws onto your fleshy bits.

Debate has been consuming all of my time over the last 3 weeks or so. I had some pretty good success: got to finals at Emporia, and 2nd speaker at KCKCC.

Emporia's debate tournament also taught me that polar bears are just as bad as regular blacks or grizzlies. So are were-wolves. If they ever mixed, their offspring, some unholy were-bear, would conqueror the world. We'd may as well just give up, and we might be doomed to exactly that. As it turns out, if you follow Google's directions to the hotel at Emporia, you end up on some deserted gravel north of town. Between Brodt shrieking like a little girl and Nick insisting we either go faster or stop off at one of the houses where they filmed Deliverance, I thought I kept pretty good control of the insane skidding we did when the polar bear charged the car. Luckily, the pincer move the bear attempted with its were-mate up the road was overcome by some agile maneuvering that only a heavily-laden American sedan can achieve. Our lives were saved, but only to spread the word that Doomsday is nigh.

Kansas City taught me that competitive shot-taking at night somehow makes me wake up earlier and more refreshed. Must have been the company.

Can anyone actually find Elroy Blunt?